Dear FCC,
We the people of the US of A, affirm and assert that we trust you completely, and believe everything you say, no matter how unfeasible or farcical or even outright fictitious it may actually be. We know the Internet properly belongs to you, and we look forward to the day you get to use it as your bitch.
As such we the people hereby issue a mandate: the FCC shall do whatever the fuck it wants to with and/or to the Internet. Please draft your new policy in complete secrecy, we don’t want to slow you down with any of our petty concerns, the less we know, the less we can get in your way.
Feel free to make the new regulations as Draconian as you wish, your disregard for the people should be consistent with that of the Obama regime. And don’t forget to build in huge profit centers for the corporations that have compromised your integrity.
Thanks for caring enough to rape and pillage us, ad infinitum.
Hugs and Kisses,
The People